Sometimes Touristy is Good! (Southern Thailand & Kanchanaburi)

In contrast to some of our more out-there destinations, we generally stuck to the beaten track in Thailand. What impressed us most was how well the country manages large-scale tourism, keeping the experience fresh and interesting and avoiding over-commercialization. We’re not sure if it’s government intervention, the deep well of hospitality inherent in Thai culture, or just us being oblivious to reality, but we felt extremely welcomed wherever we went – even if it was in places that in any other country would be terrible tourist traps. But first, an important digression to one of the most important parts of our time in the country:

7-Eleven: A Tribute

One of the unmitigated joys of life in Thailand is the fact that wherever you are, there’s usually a 7-Eleven just around the corner. Although this chain has a presence in much of the world, like many things it’s just so much better in Thailand. Maybe it’s the way the fridge-like interior contrasts with the sweaty, sticky world outside. Or maybe it’s the overwhelmingly diverse array of weird and wonderful snack options – and the dozens of varieties of instant noodles. Maybe it’s just the smiling staff, who enthusiastically shout “sawadee ka” on autopilot whenever they hear the ubiquitous doorbell, and have a strange-yet-adorable habit of providing a drinking straw with your purchase on any occasion, bottled beer often included.

We developed something of an obsession with 7-Eleven during our stay in Thailand, partly through necessity (much-needed pit stops to avoid heatstroke on our longer outings) but mostly due to the fact that we could count on finding something novel, cheap, and tasty on any given visit.

An Aladdin’s Cave of tiny, rice-based snacks, highly processed meats, and pre-cooked eggs (just don’t get soft boiled in Southeast Asia unless you enjoy drinking your egg whites)

Anyone for squid puffs?

Chocolate “Collon”?

Energy drinks are BIG in Thailand – they were the ones to invent Red Bull back in the 1970s, and many competitors have subsequently arrived on the scene. Rather disconcertingly, drinks are sold in bottles which give them the appearance of prescription medication, and with suitably scientific-looking labels. Even more disconcertingly, we discovered that these drinks became popular right around the time that methamphetamine-caffeine hybrid tablets, used heavily by long-distance drivers and manual laborers, were outlawed. We sampled a few options (strictly in the name of cultural understanding and science) and found them to be universally disgustingly sweet – like drinking a cup of jelly beans – but seriously effective.

Our first foray into the world of Thai energy drinks – sticking with a familiar brand name

Perfectly paired with some Thai green curry flavored instant noodles

Among other 7-Eleven gems, Jess had great fun sampling the diverse array of sugary and sour dried fruits, while Ethan got seriously involved with the chicken and rice offerings. Both of us developed a redoubled passion for Maggi sauce, which seems to improve pretty much everything via liberal inclusion of MSG.

Tamarind-based chewy sweets, available in sweet, sour, and, spicy varieties, and liable to make your lips numb if you overdose (discovered the hard way)

Possibly the best 7-Eleven product of all time – the corn snack. Available in “Japanese Cream Corn Soup” and “Extra Corn” flavors, this snack is one of the rarer finds and consequently must be properly savored whenever a trove is discovered

Nominally fish sticks – although the Russian-novel-length ingredients list tells a different story

Obviously one of us had to give this a try…

A cricket drumstick!

The actual moment Jess’ fight or flight response kicked in

Ultimately there was only one way to properly pay homage to the most convenient of convenience stores. We got the tanks

Krabi Town

Thailand’s beautiful coastline is world renowned. Unfortunately, this means that in many popular spots things have gradually slid from paradisaical to party-centric – but nevertheless, we were excited to see what all the fuss was about. In recognition of our advancing years, we acknowledged that we probably lacked the stamina for Koh Pha Ngan (home to the notorious full moon parties, and increasingly half moon parties, new moon parties, and whatever else organizers can sell tickets for). Instead, we opted to start our beach adventures in Krabi, a stunning stretch of coastline a little bit south of Phuket which attracts a nice blend of backpackers, luxury resort-goers, and regular sun worshipers.

We decided to base ourselves in Krabi Town since it has great transportation links, cheap hotels, and, since it’s a real town, it retains a splash of authenticity. First impressions upon arrival were underwhelming to say the least – we were confronted with a dull, concrete-heavy town shrouded by a very grey sky. Against the odds, though, we quickly warmed to the place. The street food was exceptional, there was an awesome park, our hotel was fantastic, and we met a host of laid back, friendly people.

Do grim tides bring grim tidings? Initial skepticism of our purported beach wonderland

Long-tails are the classic boat in much of Southeast Asia, comprising a graceful, hand-built wooden hull with a Mad Max-Style uncovered car or truck engine mounted directly on the propeller shaft

Every night a riverside street food market opened up, with a BYOB policy and excellent fresh grilled fish

The nearby Wat Sam Thua was a quick ride away on the local bus – known as the “Tiger Cave Temple” due to the tigers of legend which used to roam the premises. These days the only feline representation is provided by a few gaudy statues, but the real highlight is the view from the summit of the temple complex, up 1,237 extremely steep steps.

On your mark, get set, climb!

The temple grounds provide a nice distraction while psyching oneself up for the climb – largely ignored by other visitors, these rocky alcoves were spectacular

The ascent begins…

1,237 steps is a lot more than you think it is! Dripping sweat, those that made it to the top were justifiably forming groups to congratulate new arrivals and provide moral support for the descent

Back in town, it was time for some revelry. In Thailand, this usually means a walking street – open air socializing, food (obviously), and some light entertainment in the form of karaoke which, as is commonly the case in Thailand, appears to be performed by actual singers vs. random members of the public (although this doesn’t improve the quality much).

Public karaoke show! There was a brief awkward moment when we were suddenly asked to stand for the national anthem. In Thailand this is taken incredibly seriously, and all of the Thai members of the audience immediately stopped what they were doing, stood, and sang. Westerners mostly half-stood in utter bewilderment, never having come across such patriotism in the wild

Spicy noodles, and the full spectrum of optional toppings

Hoy tod = oyster omelette, nicely crispy on the outside but goopy in the middle

What’s better than a cocktail? A bamboo cocktail!

To great an opportunity to pass up: an American-themed bar seat…

… set right across from a UK-themed one (barely visible behind the Brit). This also kicked off a multi-month transatlantic Jenga duel

Beach Life

The storms passed quickly, and we were left pondering which beach to hit first. The area is home to idyllic littorals as well as countless big name islands – most notably Koh Phi Phi, which provided the stunning setting for late 90s era movie The Beach. The recent explosion in visitor numbers has produced a smoothly oiled machine of travel agents, resorts, flights, buses and boats ready to transport tourists physically and spiritually into bliss. But the beaches remain exceptional, and it’s still possible to find a quiet cove if you’re willing to explore a bit.

Thailand’s beaches: white sands, smooth aquamarine seas, picturesque boats, and slabs of white meat in various stages of solar grilling

The nearest beach to us was located on the mainland at Ao Nang. It’s mostly a jumping off point for boat rides to more exotic locations, and touts pace the shoreline searching for likely customers. Even so, it’s beautiful, and the well-developed tourist infrastructure makes it a very comfortable place to hang out in the evenings.

Even the “warm-up beach” at Ao Nang is a better specimen than you’ll find nearly anywhere else

Krabi’s walking cocktail options are the match even of Vegas’s

Sangria, made tropical with a small palm tree, of course

Sandwiched between fast food outlets and tapas bars, an unassuming noodle stall serving the best pad thai we had on the trip. As they offered a dazzling array of different noodle geometries and toppings beyond pad thai, we were forced to become repeat offenders

Railay Beach, just a short hop away from Krabi Town, is technically on the mainland but has no road access, so it’s pretty much treated as an island. It’s a more recent addition to the tourist trail, having only recently gained access to 24 hour electricity, and in contrast to Ao Nang it attracts a lot of backpackers as well as serious climbers (who flock to the imposing limestone cliffs).

While long-tails serve typically prosaic industrial purposes, they really come into their own as tourist movers, providing speed and a certain amount of grace, but also the smell of diesel, frequent breakdowns, and a dash of fear thanks to the exposed, whirling blades

The flotilla at moorings

While the vast majority of visitors to Railay Beach laze and gluttonize, an enterprising few take advantage of the amazing cliffs to perfect their rock climbing

Fancy a spot of spelunking? With great climbing cliffs come equally great caves

The small village at Railay includes two of the universals we’ve spotted everywhere on our trip: grilled corn and a Rasta bar. No matter where you go in the world, you are at most 15 minutes from at least one of these things

The bar scene is on the casual side – with many “special” offerings on sale for the backpacker crowd

After whispering conspiratorially to each other that we’d managed to spot Captain Jack Sparrow, we were gratified when he introduced himself as such. He captained us safe and sound back to the mainland, sans undead

Chop Chop Bang Bang

The highlight of our time in Krabi was – unsurprisingly – a cooking class. The chance to try to recreate some of the amazing dishes we’d tasted so far loomed large, as well as the possibility of finally learning to identify all of the odd-shaped vegetables and aromatic toppings we’d come across. The class was a feat of organizational efficiency, taking us through a dozen dishes in just four hours with the help of numerous assistants, who also played a vital role in minimizing chili-in-eye incidents throughout the chopping and banging.

The key to almost every Thai dish is – to quote our masterful instructor – bang bang! Crushing fresh spices, herbs, and vegetables to make a paste, or just roughing them up a bit to release some flavor for your salad

It’s all about the paste!

Just a few of the various flavorings, providing inspiration for our future kitchen cabinets

Woks are great since they let you focus a lot of heat on a small amount of food very quickly. Blink once and everything burns though!

Solid technique, eyes on the prize

Perhaps Ethan’s entire reason for the round-the-world trip at last: crafting fried rice in a proper wok, using proper seasonings, cooked over leaping flames

Spicy, spicy, and more spicy – the full array of dishes

Fish Are Friends, Not Food

One of the things Ethan had been most looking forward to in Thailand was the very affordable, world class diving. Although there are a few hubs along the coast, Khao Lak is the mecca for serious divers since the town has easy access to the well-protected Similan Islands as well as a solid network of dive centers.

Fortunately for the non-divers among us, Khao Lak also turned out to be a fantastic, under-appreciated  beach town. The beach itself is miles long and natural-feeling, lined with dense clusters of trees and overlooked by forested hills. Known primarily for diving, the town also hosts dozens of luxury all-inclusive resorts – but in practice, this means that there’s almost nobody on the beach, since everyone is by the pool. The region was very badly hit during the 2004 tsunami, with damage extending more than a mile inland, and naturally tourism took a big hit too. Amazingly, other than the evacuation plan signs – and a few tree stumps – there are very few visible signs of the damage today.

For reasons that still remain obscure, in Ethan’s family olives are the traditional scuba diving food, and any expedition setting out bereft of them is likely to end in misfortune. Fortunately Khao Lak has a small Italian expat contingent, and the local supermarket obligingly stocks the fruits of Athena’s tree

Sadly the smiling technique didn’t quite sell Jess on trying scuba, but she did give snorkeling a try

In addition to the underwater wonders, the Similans offer some striking above water backdrops for when you’re waiting for your pickup after each dive

Ollie the octopus – Ethan’s favorite reef creatures because of their intelligence, playfulness, and the mind-boggling effectiveness of their disguises – a second before, this guy was a 100% certified rock by all appearances

The first lionfish sighting. Because of their voracious appetites and unsurprisingly limited number of natural predators, lionfish are becoming a menace in many reefs in the Atlantic these days. This was a chance to spot the menace in its home waters

Baitfish doing their best to survive an attack of some marauding jacks. The indentations in the school are where the small fish are retreating from a large and hungry mouth

Your neighborhood puffer fish

The unavoidable subsea selfie

Receiving some involuntary exfoliation from the local wrasses

An oriental sweetlips, blessed with perhaps the funniest fish face around

A monster peacock grouper up close

Just your ordinary Andaman island vista

Every diver in the Andaman Sea prays that they’ll see a whale shark, but it’s basically a matter of luck. Sadly, Ethan was not to spot one this trip, but the other wildlife was extremely impressive nonetheless. Yet another reason to return!

What else does one get for dinner after a day spent fish spotting?

… Along with the fish cake appetizers to round out the meal

This salad was a solid 11 on the heat scale – we finished it, but couldn’t taste much else for a few days afterwards

Thailand makes toast extreme by covering it in minced meat or seafood, dipping it in beaten egg, and deep frying it. Naturally served with salad, pickles, and chili sauce

Back to Nature

Khao Sok is another of the “can’t miss” sights in Thailand. It’s an enormous national park connected by lakes sitting under stunning,  jungle-covered cliffs, and packed to the gills with rare jungle creatures. Ironically, it’s actually man-made, the lake being the product of a dam constructed in the 1980s. The main activities are boating around the lake on guided tours, staying at floating resorts, trekking, and exploring the numerous caves. Knowing that it was such a draw on the tourist trail, and confronting the hefty price tag of most tours, we were initially reluctant – but we soon realized our error. While the experience was certainly touristy, Khao Sok was one of the most beautiful places we’ve ever seen – perhaps only topped by our hiking in the Himalayas.

Our conveyance from Khao Lak was a surprisingly comfy, and suitably patriotically decorated public bus (blue and red are the colors of the Thai flag)

The tiny tourist hub at the edge of the park is nothing but restaurants, laundromats, and hotels – but the surroundings make up for it. Suitably ensconced, we settled down and booked the standard 1-day group lake tour for the following morning.

Blogging from the bush

Khao Sok gets an enormous amount of rain, and when combined with the steaming tropical heat, an explosion of flora issues forth from every scrap of earth

Jenga is a stressful game for both of us, but one we can’t resist if coupled with a few libations (let the record show that despite having giant hands, Ethan achieved a decisive victory in the Mini Jenga Tournament)

The next morning we awoke, eager to get our touristing on. Ethan brought all the tactical gear he could possibly muster, and our drybags creaked with a surfeit of medical supplies, victuals, and garments for adverse weather – literally none of which ultimately got used.

The docks on the lake at Khao Sok look like a tourist disaster waiting to happen, with hundreds of travelers queuing to get onto the same group of boats – we were having some regrets about our visit at this point

Ten minutes later, however, we found ourselves alone on a vast body of water perfectly placed to take in the panoramic views

It’s impossible to convey the scale and total wonder of the lake in a couple of photos – as we motored along, it just kept getting better and better, with towering red, white and black cliffs in every direction and a huge, glimmering expanse of water below us

We were so totally stunned by the terrain that we temporarily neglected our usual pastime of whispering unflattering remarks about other tourists for the duration of the day

In addition to boating around in open-mouthed wonder, we engaged in a decent amount of trekking, exploring the jungle and nervously making jokes about poisonous snakes.

A bit of jungle yawping

Our guide got into some light twig fencing with this tarantula, who more than held his own in the engagement

In true Indiana Jones fashion, after a trek through the jungle we came to another lake, this time with very dodgy looking bamboo rafts as the only crossing option

All adventures of this sort naturally lead to a cave, and this one did not disappoint in the least!

After exhausting ourselves with adventuring, we arrived at one of the floating resorts for an afternoon of floating, swimming, sunning, and diving boards…

… And most importantly, lunch! We had been expecting soggy sandwiches – instead we got an absolutely delicious fried fish served on the floating dock, having swum with its fellows only moments before (plus a massive spread of curries, vegetables, rice, fruit, and the like which we had no hope of finishing)

Kanchanaburi

To reiterate – everything’s better in Thailand – and this extends to the overnight buses, which are clean, give you snacks and blankets, show action movies, and, most importantly, have toilets. But they are still overnight buses, and overnight buses are never fun. Particularly when coupled with 5am transfers to additional buses. And hot walks from the bus station. But we made it to Kanchanaburi, and we were welcomed by one of the greatest hotels of our trip to date.

The face of 15 hours of buses – Ethan was forced to deploy the ice cream to restore team morale

Fortunately, the hotel staff were incredibly lovely (even by Thailand standards) and set us up with a room straight away. East meets west meets luxury – not quite a futon, but not quite a normal bed either

Best of all, we had our own private porch overlooking the river 

Kanchanaburi, as many will know, is the site of the real “Bridge Over the River Kwai,” constructed by POWs under appalling conditions as part of the Thailand-Burma railway, which was intended to be a vital supply line for the Japanese. The town offers a cluster of museums, as well as the bridge itself, and it also gave us the chance to see another side of Thailand since it sits in a fairly rural slice of the country. The small proportions of Kanchanaburi meant that although there were plenty of visitors, they were largely concentrated within a square kilometer, and venturing further yielded some of the most authentic (read: hottest, most crowded and spiciest) meals of our trip.

The War Cemetery is the resting place of many thousands of allied POWs who died during construction of the railway

The famous bridge – which was actually made of steel, and built using a dismantled bridge brought over from Indonesia

Pillars still show damage from allied bombing during the war. Although the bridge was destroyed by an air raid, it was in use for two years beforehad

A Japanese-sponsored memorial

Time for a pick-me-up: stoking the apparent raging caffeine addition of the Thai people, tea comes in rather large, incredibly strong servings, with plenty of condensed milk to provide the requisite sugar hit

The museums of Kanchanaburi vary greatly in quality… at the top of the rankings, there was the Thailand-Burma Railway Centre, which we gathered was run by an enthusiastic, detail-oriented Australian, and which provided a great overview of the history of the railway, as well as some compelling personal accounts. At the other end of the spectrum, there was the World War II Museum, which seemed to be from the Kolkata school of museuming and housed tons of great stuff – with zero curation. Oh, and some wasps.

In an action movie, a sign like this would foretell certain doom for the character who ignored it…

… A lesson Ethan learned the painful way

Spicy glass noodles make everything better

We visited Thailand during the Six Nations Rugby Tournament, and made our best efforts to see as many games as possible. However, despite great hopes of a vigorous British expat crowd, in Kanchanaburi we found ourselves alone in the bar save the devoted bartendress

Our trip to Kanchanaburi happened to coincide with Ethan’s birthday – which worked out well, since he’s pretty enthusiastic about military history and jungles and such. Acquiring a cake required some effort, but the real treat ended up being the immense pickup truck we rented to drive to our next lodgings.

A bit of birthday boy breakfast Brut

Fielding some bday calls over breakfast

Our wheels – a monster 4×4 pickup truck (thank you, surprise upgrade). One further step in Jess’ Americanization

We had booked a “tent” in a luxury jungle lodge about an hour north of Kanchanaburi. Rugged, it wasn’t, but sipping beer in the riverside pool with only mosquitoes for company, we felt surprisingly adventurous.

The “Hellfire Pass” was en route to our camp – one of the most notorious sections of the railway due to the huge effort required to excavate the cutting

Our first tent stay of the entire trip! Not sure it counts though

The surrounding area was mostly dedicated to agriculture and rubber farming, although we heard that with lower prices, the latter activity has declined recently

The local town – and temple – across the river

The natural pool, fed by a small waterfall and overlooking the river below

As is now tradition, Ethan was treated to some very public, enthusiastic, and out-of-tune singing 

On our way back to Kanchanaburi, we stopped off at Erawan National Park to see what were reputed to be some Thailand’s best waterfalls. We weren’t disappointed.

Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate between innocent vine and terror snake in the wild

Bliss achieved…but wait, what’s that nibbling at our toes?

Another (unexpected) fish encounter. The fish at Erawan National Park behave similarly to those little fish used at foot spas. Being correspondingly larger, their nibbles are much more noticeable, however. Needless to say Jess did not even make it the whole way into the water

Idyllic falls, sweet jungle scents, and what are essentially sharks cruising the pool, looking to exfoliate some toes

Appendix: Dive Videos for Those Who Love Fish

Some schooling barracuda

 

A rather exotic nudibranch (don’t worry, they’re only really cool if you dive too much)

 

Ollie in the flesh (mantle?)

 

Tentacles!!!

 

Taking cover from the current

 

Trumpetfish (or cornetfish?) spotted!