Everything’s Better in Thailand (Bangkok)

Thailand was utterly great. We arrived with sky-high expectations, skeptical that such a well-known, frequently visited place could live up to the hype. We left impressed in every respect – having found stunning nature, friendly and competent people, incredible food, and an ease of travel that was more than a little refreshing after months on the road. Bangkok was our launch pad, an energetic, exciting city that set the tone perfectly for the weeks to come.

Ethan kicking off his continuous, three month Southeast Asia Sweat. This is our explanation for all of the subsequent sodium overconsumption you’re about to see

The Dining Experience

Thailand is, quite simply, a 200,000 square mile foodie theme park. As in India, food is everywhere, all of the time. Like the Italians, Thai chefs are terrifyingly competent, and have an innate understanding of ingredients. More than anywhere we’ve been before, there is novelty at every turn. What makes Thai food really special, though, is the sophisticated balance achieved in every dish. Food is simultaneously spicy, sweet, tangy, and salty, and one mouthful can bring you velvety comfort together with a satisfying crunch, and something to chew on for good measure. Naturally, we ran around like excited children sampling as much as we possibly could. Fortunately for us, Thai food is served in small portions, and is incredibly affordable.

The humble “som tum” salad features on the menus of most Thai restaurants around the world, with good reason. Green papaya salad is the epitome of Thai cuisine: a crunchy, fresh, and slightly bitter base, topped off with peanuts, dried shrimp, a bit of sugar, some pickled onions, fish sauce, lime juice, and an intimidating tonnage of diced chilies

Gourmet made casual – meat floss sounds like something Heston Blumenthal would pioneer, but in Thailand it’s a standard topping to add a kick to your rice

A recurring favorite for Jess – mango sticky rice. Such was her passion for this dessert that she ran around Bangkok airport trying to find it during our short transfer from Myanmar to Vietnam. Note the creamy coconut milk, the butter-soft mango, the chewy rice, and of course the all-important extra crispy bits

Most cuisines attain balance by avoiding anything too extreme. Thai cuisine, in contrast, is all about extreme flavors – but somehow, magically, they all work together. And when things aren’t tuned exactly to your personal tastes, there’s usually a solution. In Thailand, nearly every dish is served with some sort of topping, spice, garnish, etc. on the side that you can add to bring the overall dish into your comfort zone. If it’s too spicy, add some lemon juice and chopped fresh veg. If it’s not savory enough, add some fish sauce. If it’s a bit soggy, add some green onion.

Do-it-yourself fried rice: like many dishes in Thailand, this one gives you the chance to precisely craft your ideal balance of spicy, sweet, sour, salty, and crunchy, or alternatively, to mix everything together and die in a painful but delicious mouth inferno

At this point in our journey, we justifiably felt pretty good about our spice tolerance. We’d endured more than a few eye-wateringly hot curries and a notable biryani which was at least 50% chilies by volume. When our friends tried to warn us about Thai food, we just laughed. When, at our first meal, the waiter asked us if we were sure we didn’t want the low- or the medium-spicy option, we laughed again. Consuming spicy food was basically our full time job! Alas, compared with the average Thai person we were (and still are) total novices. Thai food is off-the-charts spicy. You may notice cucumber slices in a lot of our food photos – those are very much a necessary part of Thai meals, purely for mouth cooling.

The fateful first meal. As a point of pride, we finished the food, along with an entire box of napkins for forehead-dabbing and tear-mopping

A motorbike and a bowl of chilies – what else in Thailand?

Although Bangkok has some really exceptional restaurants, street food is usually the way to go in Thailand. You can always find a stall specializing in whatever you’re craving, and you can be fairly confident in the knowledge that your chef has perfected their craft over many thousands of reps. If you aren’t totally sure, critically assess the efficiency of their production line – the pros have flawless setups.

This man knows exactly what he’s doing

A spontaneous mid-afternoon snack, and one of the most ubiquitous noodle dishes in Thailand. Plenty of Chinese influence here, but Thailand makes it fragrant, lemony, and rich all at the same time

Another day, a similar table, another dose of happy noodle delirium – this time with a spicy sweet sauce

The innovation and optimization doesn’t end with the making of the food. Did you realize that spray bottles make ideal soy sauce dispensers?

You get a nice even distribution of sauce without making your fried quail eggs soggy

It should be noted that eating is something of a national sport in Thailand. Expats we ran into shared tales of woe about the company-condoned snack breaks throughout the day, leaving interrupted meetings and pungent cubicles in their wakes. A tour guide told us earnestly about the traditional 5 or 6 meal-a-day system, which is increasingly threatened by western cultural norms. We nodded along vigorously, as it gradually dawned on us that perhaps we’d found our spiritual homeland.

Experimenting with some $0.50 supermarket spicy chicken and rice

For those who are into tiny food, boat noodles are hilariously miniature bowls of noodle soup, purportedly shrunk so that sellers in rocking boats could sell them and collect money without spilling

Even the street art is predominantly culinary

The Land of Smiles – and Professionalism, and Luxury Malls

Bangkok was not quite what we were expecting, in the best possible way. Mental images of the city tend to involve crumbling, ancient beauty, overrun by a large quantity of lewd, loud Australian (and British, and American) tourists. While we did find all of this and more, our first impression of the city was one of shiny, modern, efficiency. Office workers strode around in stylish suits, skyscrapers loomed overhead, and we felt that familiar big city feeling of having everything at our fingertips. All this happened amidst the din of street markets selling seriously funky stuff, and the resulting juxtaposition of efficiency and tasty chaos was utterly fantastic.

On your mark, get set, go! Impressively chaotic traffic meets general obedience of traffic laws

Tree-lined and (somewhat) clean, a departure from the historical norm for the inner-city canals

It helped that we were spending our first night in luxury at the JW Marriott (thanks to Ethan scraping together the last of his loyalty points). The elegant, gilded building sits in a long row of high-end, spa-like hotels in Sukhumvit, the most exclusive part of town. We rolled in on the speedy, air conditioned Sky Train, dumped our bags, and set about exploring – right after making a quick pit stop at the food stalls in front of the hotel. What we found was a seemingly endless chain of monstrous malls, overflowing with international brands – and totally packed with people, both tourists and locals. Clearly, commerce is thriving in Bangkok.

For those homesick expats – that Essential Waitrose brie, all the way from the UK

Organic frozen dinners on the right for the bobos and yanks, and the extravaganza of North Asian delicacies on the left

Bizarrely, we stumbled across Japan Expo – and like everyone else pictured, we were instantly transfixed by the catchy songs and perfectly synchronized movements of…some Japanese girl group (we weren’t sure since we could speak neither Thai nor Japanese)

Smorgasburg, but better in every way, flooring and furniture included

Even in this tourist-friendly environment, the chilies lurk. He’s putting a brave face on it, but the bleary eyes, red lips, and open-mouthed panting tell a different story

On our second day, we moved east to a more residential neighborhood, where we had booked an Airbnb. While it was admittedly a little bit less luxurious, it featured an amazing swimming pool and a friendly city-dweller who was happy to provide some tips. We quickly felt totally at home, and although we had planned to move on quickly we ended up hanging around for the best part of a week.

Some lap swimming to work off the abundance of new delicacies

Bend, but Do Not Break – Thailand’s Independent History

Over the centuries, Thailand has demonstrated a deep mastery of the art of not getting conquered. The country was historically strong enough to fend off local rivals militarily, but not so strong that it overextended itself in wars of conquest. And when it encountered overwhelming opponents – like the western powers of the 19th century – Thailand cannily gave them enough of what they wanted without actually losing control of its territory. During World War II, Thailand collaborated with the Japanese, but under the threat of force, and without much enthusiasm, so immediately postwar it was welcomed back into the fold of the US and its allies. And during the Cold War, Thailand served as a crucial ally for the US, benefiting from considerable military aid.

What this means is that unlike nearly all of its neighbors, most of Thailand has actually been Thailand the whole time. Unlike nearly every other country in the region, it has not had a struggle for national liberation. Many of its neighbors – Japan, China, Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Indonesia – fought civil or external wars during the mid-20th century that each killed millions of their own people. The others – Myanmar, Laos, Malaysia, and the Philippines – have also fought multi decade internal wars with death tolls in the tens or hundreds of thousands. While modern Thailand has been and still is the land of military coups, these have been far less violent than in most other places.

Although this track record has supported the country’s steady development, it means that Thailand lacks the shared experience of national struggle which typically serves to unite a country. What is more, Thailand is a relatively young nation, since until the late 18th century it was still a collection of city states. The country’s leaders have had to work very hard to build a compelling narrative to bring people together, and this translates into an extremely strong focus on history, Theravada Buddhism, and the Thai royal family. Buddhist temples abound, and relics of an opulent past are carefully preserved and promoted.

Bangkok’s Grand Palace is very, very grand, and combines implausibly large buildings with an extreme amount of ornamentation

Dozens of incredibly intricate buildings overwhelm visitors with ornate buddhist imagery

The stunning wall paintings tell the story of the Ramakien, a buddhist version of the Ramayana, the Hindu Epic detailing the triumph of good over evil

The famous Emerald Buddha (you can’t take pictures inside)

Like Thai cuisine, Thai architecture combines a lot of different textures and colors

We gradually learned the difference between prangs and stupas

Cthulhu sighting!

The most peacock-like building either of us will likely ever see

Columns to challenge the Italians

We arrived four months after the death of the revered King Bhumibol, amid a period of national mourning. Nearly everyone on the street wore black or dark colors, and every public building (plus most private ones) had set up shrines in his honor. Thailand is a rarity among nations in terms of the exceedingly high respect that people hold for the monarchy. It is even more of a rarity in that there are also strict lese majeste laws, and even foreigners overheard saying something critical about the royal family have found themselves fined or imprisoned. Most surprisingly, it seems that enforcement of these laws has become much stricter in recent decades – and it now extends to censorship of internet publications which are deemed to flout the rules.

The military guard at the Grand Palace. In the background, a line of mourners snakes around the building to pay their respects to King Bhumibol

Outside of the Grand Palace are numerous other temples and shrines, and visited more than our fair share. One of the highlights was the Temple of the Golden Mount, which provides an amazing view of the city alongside some inspiring religious imagery.

City on a hill

Unfortunately we were unable to spot Alan or Mr. Chow

Visitors are invited to (gently) ring bells for merit

Of course the gong is an irresistible attraction

In the past Bangkok was afflicted by cholera, and most grimly, there are statues of vultures at the Temple because they used to feed on the dead

Summit selfie, urban version

Chinatown

While Thailand is a relatively homogeneous country, Bangkok has long been a bastion of foreign influence, and Chinese immigrants – often very successful in business – have played a vibrant role in the commerce and culture of the city for hundreds of years. Chinese families have mostly gradually assimilated over time, taking Thai names and marrying into Thai families, but a distinct enclave still exists just south of the center of the city, and it’s widely considered to be one of the best Chinatowns in the world, bustling with activity, tasty foods, and odd smells.

The King’s Birthday Celebration Arch greets you as you enter Chinatown, now one of many sites of mourning for the King

Chinatown sits near the heart of historic Bangkok, and the scale of the buildings, streets, and even the tables and chairs shifts down a few notches as you enter its dense footprint

Little chairs, big taste

How many different varieties of dried shrimp do you think you need?

All tuckered out from chasing mice all day

Chinatown is home to many temples and shrines from the Mahayana school of Buddhism, which still thrives among the Thai-Chinese population

Thai food reflects considerable Chinese influence – stir frying and deep frying were both introduced by Chinese immigrants, as well as several types of noodles, soy sauce, and tofu. The Chinese also popularized the concept of street food in Bangkok and, as we discovered, they continue to excel at it today. Chinatown offers up a plethora of weird and wonderful dishes, including the rather touristy (and morally questionable) shark fin soup, and trays full of deep fried bugs. We stuck with the noodles, mostly rather slimier than their Thai cousins, and served with bok choy, roasted duck, seafood, or pork. Ridiculously cheap fried tofu was also on the menu, along with a wince-inducing peppery sauce.

Yaowarat road is the huge, heaving heart of Chinatown. It’s at its best at night, when the neon signs are illuminated and the sidewalks are taken over by some of the most skillful chefs in town

Morsel grilling is a big activity

An oily, tentacly mess of exceptional deliciousness. If we’ve learned anything, it’s that randomly throwing an egg and some additional oil into any dish makes it better

Keeping the focus where it belongs – on the duck noodles

The Expat Magnet

Bangkok is an exceptionally livable city. A combination of good transport, great markets and grocery stores, and the availability of pretty much any convenience made it one of the most comfortable, straight-forward cities we’ve stayed in on our trip, and it was one of the first places in which we’ve seriously contemplated the idea of a long-term stay. We got into cooking breakfasts at home, found a few standard workout places, and got into something of a routine. Most notably, Jess used the opportunity to buy a cheap laptop to replace the 2 kilo metal brick she had been carrying since Jaipur – the shopping experience was certainly authentic, if not totally enjoyable.

Breakfast of champions – fried red rice and eggs with about half the spice cabinet

A famous outdoor gym in the park, popular with aficionados of open-air musculation. Leg day is apparently not a thing here, however

For an epic chest pump, tires are a must, of course

A bit of workout inspiration in the park

While boarding is a bit scary, Bangkok has a great set of inexpensive speedboat taxis that provide far more excitement than the L Train. They also provide strong immune system training if you’re unfortunate enough to have your mouth open a bit while facing the spray

Street art, creatively taking advantage of the local landscaping

Scratching the hipster cocktail bar itch – Bangkok has everything!

Extending the hipster theme, we spent an evening at Artbox, a popup food / music / art festival where eager visitors nibble on noodles and buy earrings made of reclaimed glass while sipping craft brews

The cocktail buckets represented an interesting fusion between Thailand beach party fare and the finest of modern speakeasy libations

All hipster festivals require dogs, and the Thai version of this brought us to our knees with cuteness

The Valentine’s Day touch: A heart shaped tomato. Jess isn’t having any of it

Hustle and Bustle

We spent much of our time in Bangkok just wandering around, trying to soak it all in, and those we spoke with were extremely helpful about recommending exciting things to see.

Of course, we had to pay a visit to the infamous Khao San Road. It was exactly as we’d imagined – lined with pushy vendors, tattoo parlors, and sports bars – and a hotbed of great people watching spots (all with 2 for 1 drink deals)

A quick Pad Thai pit stop (with extra chilies and peanuts, to taste). Pad Thai was created and promoted as part of a scheme to get people to eat less rice, so it’s technically a national dish, but it’s pretty much just tourists who eat it (including us, it’s delicious)

One of the best recommendations we received was to go to the weekly Muay Thai broadcast at the main TV studio. Muay Thai is a form of kickboxing that is notable for its brutality because of a focus on the use of knees and elbows in addition to the normal fists and feet. Fighters spend a lot of time standing in clinch positions while slamming knees into each others’ ribs and maneuvering for the elbow to temple KO. What’s perhaps most impressive is how well the fighters conceal pain and exhaustion – there is a large premium placed on presenting a facade of dominance no matter how the fight is going. This broadcast happens every week in a room packed with excitedly gambling Thais. We dove in, and despite the language barrier, made fast friends with our neighbors, who were basically sitting on our laps given the crowdedness of the arena.

Muay Thai is a sport with many rituals, and before each fight, fighters perform a rhythmic dance to honor their coaches

Pitched battle!

Gambling in full swing. There is an entire language of hand gestures for offering and accepting bets and setting odds

The victor of the main match afterwards, signing autographs and posing for fans

A weekend institution in Bangkok, the Chatuchak Market is by far the most impressive market we’ve ever encountered. It’s absolutely huge, and sells virtually everything, including designer fakes, antiques, furniture, and (obviously) food. It’s definitely on the tourist map, but its immense scale means there’s more than enough space for the locals, too.

One of the main thoroughfares – with mazes of thousands of stalls extending on either side. The market is so large that it’s organized into sections similar to a department store

First lion spotted since Kenya. Fortunately it’s on a leash

Browsing for a few pieces of flair

The gifting of the coconut ice cream